Tears
by Linear Kitsune
Summary: ABANDONED! UNDER REVIEW!There were a few times that Naruto ever truly cried. When he was a child he could remember crying often but when he became a student at the Academy he stopped. Naruto bottled up all his emotions and put on a happy mask. Eventually the mask has to break.
1. Prologue

_**"Somewhere there is someone who dreams of your smile, who finds in your presence that life is worthwhile. So when you are lonely, remember it's true, that somebody somewhere is thinking of you."**_

_**~Unknown**_

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><p>When my team first started this mission never in my life would I have thought we would have ended up here, in the Land of Waves and fighting for our lives to protect a village that is drowning in its own poverty. In my own village even this would be extreme but I was used to it. I had lived my entire life like this, from one day to the next. When I was smaller I could remember the nights and days I had spent crying about my situation just hoping that one day someone would come by and rescue me. I grew up and learned that crying wouldn't solve my problems; only action and a positive attitude would carry me in a direction that, I hoped, was better. But, the Land of Waves was still drowning waiting for someone, like my team, to come and save them. Why would anyone want a monster like me to save them?<p>

After my team had fought against the demon of the mist, Zabuza, we had thought that most of our problems were over. That was until Kakashi-sensei awoke a few days later. He told us that Zabuza was still alive and if we, myself, Sakura, and Sasuke, were to survive the next attack we would have to become stronger. He led us, on crutches, to the forest nearby. That was where we learned a new technique to control our chakra. My only thought on this exercise was, how stupid it was. By learning how to climb trees with our feet we could stand a chance against a jounin shinobi. It was stupid but I did as my sensei told me.

Sakura was the first to be able to climb the trees with little effort. She didn't have as much chakra as Sasuke and I did so of course she would have had an easier time with this exercise. She was sitting up about fifty feet on a tree limb. I looked up at her and gave her a foxy smile. She didn't look at me but had her eyes on Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei. She had never liked me and I knew it but that didn't stop me from trying to make her see me. Kakashi-sensei congratulated her and allowed her to guard Tazuna during the following days.

The days went by and I had barely made it up twenty feet. This was all that I had to show for my hard work. I killed the urge to snarl and growl at my own failure instead I just kept trying. A part of me felt hurt, Kakashi-sensei had only been by when Sakura was trying and after she finished the exercise he left us alone. Did he even care to offer us advice? No, he had given advice to Sasuke and Sakura but ignored me entirely. I clenched the kunai in my hand tighter and sprinted towards the tree intending to make it up higher this time. I'll show them.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> Just the prologue, to wet your appetite, there will be more to come. Hopefully, the wait for the next chapter won't be too long. This story is finished for the most part, I am just editing the chapters before I post them.

There is a poll on my page that lists other story ideas and plots. After this story I will start working on which ever one has the most votes.


	2. Chapter 1: Trick of the Light

It may have taken days and hours to perfect the tree walking exercise but once I had made it to the top of the tree, I felt a wave of accomplishment wash over me. It may not guarantee me a win against a jounin shinobi but it was progress. It made me feel tingly from head to toe and I could stop the grin that spread across my face. As the forest was close to the water it was rather gusty and I grabbed onto the limbs of the spruce tree. However, Sasuke was only leaning against the tree and he had a smug smirk on his face. His arms were crossed and his eyes were closed. He opened his eyes and looked over at me.

The wind carried his voice over to my tree as it was barely above a whisper, "Well, are you ready to head back?" he asked me. For once, I think that he was trying to be civil towards me. This whole time that we had been practicing we never fought verbally. It was a first. I looked over at him and nodded, as I didn't quite know what to say in this situation. Sasuke moved away from the main trunk of the tree and jumped down the tree from one limb to the next like an acrobat. I wasn't as graceful and climbed down until I slipped and fell the remainder of the way. When I landed in a heap on the cold forest floor Sasuke was right next to me offering to help me up. I didn't look up at his face. Then I heard him laugh, it wasn't a mean laugh but a more whimsical one.

Again I ignored his offer to help me up. I didn't need anyone's help, especially his. But, the next thing I knew I was standing upright with one arm around Sasuke and he had one arm around me and we were walking though the forest. I was shocked by his actions and thought it best to be silent the remainder of the way back. If I said something stupid he might push me into the ocean. We had been walking for a while and the forest was behind us now and the only thing in front of us was a dark cluster of docks, houses, and shops. This village was insanely creepy and night. Unintentionally, I gripped Sasuke's shoulder a little harder. He seemed to get the message that I wanted to get back to Tazuna's house as fast as possible.

The village was now behind us and the dock seemed to just keep going. It was and understatement that Tazuna's house was very far away from the forest that we had been training in. I didn't understand why Kakashi-sensei had picked a place to train so far away when there was a forest maybe two minutes away from Tazuna's house. Then I saw a warm orange glow on the top of the water. The light from the house was reflecting on the water's surface. The small house was a lot closer and soon we were at the front door. Sasuke, with his free hand, slid the door open.

It was a quaint scene that we had walked in on. Sakura, Kakashi-sensei, Inari, and Tazuna were sitting down at the large table that took up most of the room. Tsunami was walking around the table carrying hot dishes of food in from the kitchen and placing them down on the table. Only three people looked our way when the door opened, Sakura and Inari were to busy looking down at the food to see us.

Tazuna was the first one to greet us, "Oh, you guys are finally back?" he took a better look at us and then shouted, "What's this? You guys are look really dirty and all worn out." They way he had said it just made me want to shout at the old drunk man. Of course we are worn out and dirty, we had been training since the sun rose and we were in a forest. We were bound to get dirty and tired. I bit back the snippy comment and just smiled back at the man as if I was unfazed by his comment.

He was looking at us like he wanted an answer. I chuckled and then told them what we had accomplished, "Both of us," I started to say as I was more tired that I had originally thought but I didn't get to finish without Sasuke jumping in.

"Training until he's too exhausted to move, what an idiot," Sasuke had said quietly under his breath. I was sure that Kakashi-sensei and Sakura and heard it thought.

"Made it to the top," I finally finished my sentence and by this time Sakura had looked over at us while Inari was still avoiding eye contact. I noticed that Sakura was only looking at Sasuke and then her face scrunched up in a disgusted manner. I was sure that whatever she was thinking about had something to do with me. She didn't like me at all.

Kakashi looked at the two of us with his lazy eye, "Sasuke, Naruto, " our sensei paused and then continued in a lazy tone, "starting tomorrow, the two of you will also help protect Tazuna." Finally, we could stop the useless training and get back to main mission. I couldn't help but smile at our sensei. I was certain that Sasuke was happy too as the both of us shouted back in glee. It was during this outburst that Sasuke had nearly dropped me onto the floor it hadn't been intentional. Then he grabbed me just before my face made contact with the floor and he walked me over to the table. I let go of him and slumped onto the table and surprisingly made it into a chair at the same time. I groaned when my face, arms, and chest landed hardly against the table but I didn't care. Right now all I cared about was getting something to eat.

"Naruto, Father," it was Tazuna's daughter that spoke her voice sounded annoyed but not in a bad way, "don't overdue it okay?" She was just worried about her father, and me for some odd reason. Why would anyone worry about me? I lost myself in the thought of someone actually caring about what was happening to me and before I knew it I had dozed off into a very nice daydream. Sadly the experience didn't last long as the screeching sound of a chair brought me back to reality. I looked across the table at the source of the noise. It was the little boy named Inari. I looked at his face and saw the stream of tears running from his eyes freely.

Inari had his eyes locked with mine and for whatever reason it seemed that he was directing all his anger at me. What had I done to this little brat? I clenched my jaw and tried to look away from Inari without completely turning around. It would seem that the boy didn't want me to look away as he kept his eyes fastened to mine. The tears spilled over his eyelid and streamed down his face and onto the table. That was when he started yelling.

"Why do you guys try so hard?" that was the first question he shouted while even more tears seemed to pour from his eyes. Judging from his face he had been crying several times during the day. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. The skin around his eyes and been rubbed repeatedly and it seemed that his nose had been rubbed raw. He brought up one arm and wiped the lower half of his face on his sleeve before continuing. "No matter how hard you train, you're still no match for Gatou's men. No matter what glorious claims you make or how hard you train, when facing the strong, the weak will only end up being killed!" By the end of his outburst his gazed had changed from a common glare to an icy, heartless, and deadly scowl. It was all focused at me.

Who cares what a child like you thinks?' I thought to myself bitterly, 'I'm not like you. I wasn't weak, I didn't cry. Why should I care what you think of me, crybaby.' I felt myself twitch and then I could feel a small snarl spread across my face. Inari had locked his gaze onto me and it seemed like he was expecting an answer from me.

So I gave the kid an answer but not one that he would like, "Whatever kid, I'm not like you. Why should I care what you think of me?" The last part had be muttered more to myself that to Inari but I had said it all the same. Inari seemed shocked by my answer as he momentarily moved away from the table and broke his glare away from me. It didn't seem to take him long to start the fight again. My answer seemed to have made him angrier.

"I'd hate to be like you!" he shouted as he slammed his hands against the wooden table. The plates shifted under the movement and the room fell silent. All eyes were on the two of us. It seems that even more tears had poured out as Inari continued to yell, "You don't know anything about this country yet, and you're being so nosey! What the hell do you know about me? I'm different from you, you're always clowning around and acting so cheerful, you don't know how hard life can be!" I felt myself twitch and clench my fists at the last part.

'I have no clue how hard life can be?' I could feel my emotions start to boil and in particular one emotion seemed to come out the strongest, hatred. I wanted to scream and yell at the brat how nice his life was compared to mine. How that he was actually accepted in his village unlike mine. He had a mother and a grandfather while I had people were those who I considered acquaintances. Not to mention being hated from the day I was born. The boy had no idea what a hard life even was.

I could feel that the temperature of the room had dropped after Inari yelled at me. It was not from him but from the emotions I was feeling at the moment. But I saw no reason to make a scene here in this house so I diverted my eyes. I could feel my rage boiling over and I just wanted to scream at the ignorant child in front of me. I did something else entirely.

The room was silent and then I spoke in a low voice, almost as if I was threatening him, "So it's okay for you to pose as the star of a tragedy and cry all day?" I had gotten Inari's attention and then I looked up from the table and locked eyes with Inari. Unknown to me that my cold blue eyes had warped to blood red and the pupils had changed to slits. The marks on my cheeks seemed jagged from the lighting in the room and my canines had sharper if only for an instant. "Just keep crying forever, you idiot. All you'll be is a little fucking coward!" I could see that Inari had physically recoiled from the harshness of my voice. I'm sure that after my outburst, you could have heard the calm waves lap up against the wooden dock outside the house. I snarled and then stood up sharply from the table and turned towards the stairs. I wasn't hungry anymore. I didn't spare a glance behind me as I heard a set of chair legs scratch across the wooden floor.

"Naruto!" Sakura screeched at me from her spot at the table, "You've said enough! Apologize to Inari!" She demanded that I apologize to the crybaby. It was Inari that had started this little fight. Its not like I had physically harmed the whelp. 'I had only called him a fucking coward, there are a lot of other words I could have used,' I thought to myself as I walked away from the entire scene. I walked up the staircase to the second floor and quickly found the room that our team had been staying in. I slid the door open and entered the room closing the door behind me. I headed straight for the other side of the room near the window and took a seat next to it.

I continued to replay the fight with Inari in my mind. My eyes wandered over to the open window and out to the dark night sky as my thoughts started to wander. As I was rethinking what had happened I realized that no one else besides Sakura had even stepped up to stop or fix the situation. It didn't seem to faze them at all that this had happened. Why? Then I noticed a bright stream of light come from the first floor of the house. Judging by the size of the person it was Inari; he walked out and sat down on the edge of the dock. I huffed in frustration and then went about ignoring him.

That would have been much easier if I didn't hear the soft sniffles from him. I looked down at him. He wiped his nose on the back of him hand and arms. I narrowed my eyes in disgust.

"He is still sniveling!" I huffed just above a whisper. At one time I was like Inari, I used to cry about everything. I would complain, whine, and moan to the adults and children around me. But that never solved my issues. I don't want to think about the past. I felt my chest tighten and I shoved those memories from my mind.

"I'm not that fucking coward any more. I am a shinobi of the leaf, a genin, and an adult. There is no one to take care of me now and there has never been anyone before. I have to swallow the pain and think rationally," I told myself.

Then I head footsteps on the wood, close to Inari. I slumped forward onto the railing of the window to watch the two below me. It was Kakashi.

"Can I join you?" Kakashi had asked the question so quietly that I had nearly missed it. Inari turned to face my sensei. He didn't say anything but he didn't tell Kakashi to go away. The jounin took a seat next to him and the two sat in silence. The waves crashed quietly against the wood poles of the dock and the breeze carried the scent of the ocean. I was about to move from the railing when I heard Kakashi speak again.

"Naruto," he started, "Naruto didn't mean any real harm by what he said during dinner." Now I was going to have to pay attention and then I rolled my eyes. 'I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it sensei,' I thought to myself. I watched as Inari looked up at the one-eyed jounin.

"Sometimes he just doesn't use his head and says the first things that come to his mind," Kakashi continued to tell Inari, "Tazuna told us about your father. Like you, Naruto also grew up without a father. Actually, he's never known his parents and he's never had a single friend. The truth is, he's had a rougher past than you."

I gripped the wood railing of the window and I saw sure that I had heard it shift and creek under my grip. 'How dare you sensei!' I thought. I didn't want the snivelers pity and I didn't want him to know about my past either. It would make Naruto, in his own opinion, weak and pathetic; a loser. However, I remained quiet and waited to see what Kakashi-sensei would do.

"But, I have never once seen him cry or complain about his past to others. Or look for sympathy or favor from his peers. He's always trying his best to get people to acknowledge him for a dream that he'd risk his life for at anytime. He was probably sick and tired of crying. He knows what it really means to be strong, just like your father," Kakashi continued to tell Inari and after a long pause he continued, "Naruto, may understand your feelings better than anyone else." Kakashi sounded like he had more planned to say when Inari cut him off.

"What!" Inari looked over at the jounin with a surprised look. Kakashi just smiled at the boy from behind his mask.

"Naruto, in his own way, if concerned about you," Kakashi shifted from his spot and then stood up. Inari didn't look at the jounin as he left but just looked out at the water and the silvery refection of moon that was dancing across the waves. That was when Kakashi looked up at the window and I did the first thing that came to my mind. I hid from his gaze.

'That bastard knew I was up here listening to him,' I told myself as I crept away from the window.

It may not have seemed like a lot of time had passed in that conversation but in fact an hour had passed since I had left my team downstairs. I could hear my teammate, mostly Sakura, downstairs helping Inari's mother clean. It would be any moment that Sasuke and Sakura would walk up the stair and join me in the room.

"After what happened at dinner I don't really want to talk to them now," I huffed and crawled over to my bed. If they assumed that I was asleep then they wouldn't bug me. I pulled back the covers and slipped under them. A few minutes later a group of footsteps made their ways up the stairs and into the room.

"I can't believe that Naruto would do that," it was Sakura's voice. She was getting more and more annoying as this mission continued.

"I've never seen the idiot more pissed off," Sasuke muttered back to Sakura. I held back a small laugh. Sasuke was talking with Sakura for once, however they were talking about me so that can't be a good thing. I head more than two sets of footsteps, Kakashi had followed them up the stairs quietly with his little orange book in hand I am sure. As my teammates got ready for bed and the next day they stood around talking about me as if I wasn't lying on the floor in the same room.

"I never knew that Naruto could make a little kid like Inari cry like that," Sakura started to say, "he just seems like a clown all the time and when he yelled like that." She stopped and I wasn't sure what she was going to say about me next.

"It was like a whole different Naruto," Sasuke had finished Sakura's thought.

"Yeah. And did you see what happened to his face when he," Sakura didn't get to finish her sentence as Sasuke jumped in.

"I thought it was the trick of the light. Naruto doesn't have red eyes like a demon," Sasuke retorted. I clenched my teeth. Oh, how close they were to the truth about me. Months ago I would have denied it and laughed about it but ever since Mizuki. I knew better.

Before Sakura could make another comment Kakashi stepped in, "Sasuke right Sakura. It was just a trick of the light. It happens often during tense situations. A persons mind gets caught up in the moment it plays tricks on them," Kakashi had effectively ended the conversation. Unlike a normal long mission, our team did not take shifts in watching for an enemy attacks. Kakashi believed that since we were genin and our targets were still recovering that it was fine for only him to watch during the night.

"Goodnight Sasuke-kun," Sakura said in an overly happy voice. In response Sasuke said nothing. Sasuke and Sakura quickly fell asleep shortly after that but I was still awake.

'Had I really been that out of character with them earlier?' I asked myself. I had worked so hard to hide that part of myself. I didn't want them to know what I was on the inside. I clenched the sheets around me and buried my face into them. However I had not been expecting someone to touch my shoulder and I reacted, again out of character, to it. It was as if I was expecting an enemy to be in our room. But really I should have known it was Kakashi. I threw back the sheets and crouched into a fighting stance.

Kakashi had jumped back several feet and had their hand up defensively, "Easy Naruto," it was Kakashi and he was whispering, "I just wanted to see how you were doing." I bit my lip and looked away from my sensei. I could feel the heat rising to my face; I had just embarrassed myself again.

"I'm fine sensei," I replied simply to the jounin. Kakashi had been smiling on a few seconds ago but now he looked dead serious.

"Naruto," he said in a serious tone and then sighed, "I'm just worried about you," he admitted, "I am you sensei if there is something wrong I want you to be able to trust me with it." I looked down at the floor and swallowed a lump in my throat. I wasn't sure that I could trust Kakashi, I hardly knew the man.

"Sensei there is nothing wrong. I'm fine, just tired from training earlier," I told him. Honestly I didn't want to talk with him but I knew that if I didn't he would corner me later. I watched as him eye narrowed slightly. I wish I would hear his thoughts at this moment judging by the way he was looking at me.

"In the few months I have been your sensei you have never acted like this before Naruto," he started, "I'm curious how this training is any different from what we have done as a team. The Naruto I saw downstairs was not the same person that is sitting right next to me. I'll ask again. Is there anything-wrong Naruto? Anything at all, even something small?" he asked me.

I didn't want to answer him, at least not verbally. I just looked into his one eye and then turned away from him and went back to attempting to sleep. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths; if it sounded like I was sleeping then Kakashi-sensei would leave. A little while later I heard him sigh and then move away from me. It was only a little while after that, that I did fall asleep.

But it would not be the restful bliss that I wanted it to be.

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><p><em>You know the feeling when you are falling in a dream and at the last second you jerk and wake up? Well, I hardly ever did that anymore. Almost every night it was the same dream. I would fall in darkness and the wind would cause me to be deaf to the sounds around me. Then I hit the water and I just laid there and floated to the top, still deaf from the fall. I would stay that way until I could hear a ringing in my ears; my hearing had returned to me.<em>

_The place was lit dimly but I could still tell where I was. It was a hallway full of pipes, ladders, and valves. I had walked down the hallways of this place and it seemed to never end. _

_The water wasn't deep but still enough to break my fall; it is a dream after all they're not supposed to make sense. I stood up slowly but then staggered a little. I didn't grab onto a pipe that was close to me. I had done that before and woke up in searing pain. Even though the water was freezing the pipes in this places were scorching hot._

_I could feel that there was something else in this place, this labyrinth that I would visit in my dreams. But I could never find the monster that roamed its depths. I could never find the center but I kept trying every night. Every corner and turn looked the same. This place didn't have one trait about it that made it easy to navigate in. _

_I stopped after what had seemed like an endless night of walking. The dream lasted a long time I was surprised at this. 'Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura are probably waiting for me. Maybe I should wake up,' I thought while walking through the now ankle deep water. _

'_Would they even miss me if I didn't show up on time?' I asked myself then shook my head, 'No they most likely wouldn't. I'm just a screw up. I can't even protect Tazuna so how would I help them defend him from a demon like Zabuza.' Then I noticed that my dream took on a darker appearance. I started walking again hoping that it was just my imagination that the dream had taken a darker turn._

_Luck was not on my side it would seem. The air in the corridor changed, it became colder. I could feel the water below my feet become heavier and thicker. I brought my arms into my chest to stay warm. I could see my breath and I stopped in my tracks._

"_**Ggggghhhrrrr," **__I could hear something behind me. It was low and sounded like a growl from deep in a monsters throat. There was no animal I knew of that made a sound similar to it._

_I high pitched screech broke the silence and I turned towards the direction it had come from. I could feel my blood run cold; the water was freezing in a spider web pattern around me._

'_Its just a busted pipe, nothing more,' I told myself. I could see the ice forming on the pipes around me; no doubt the noise was from one bursting. I kept walking, my feet would break through the ice occasionally but the temperature continued to drop. This had never happened before. I hadn't realized it but I started to slow down by breathing became labored as I continued to walk. Well, I thought I had been walking but it seemed as everything froze I had stopped. _

"_**Grrhhrr, ssilly frroooolllr,"**__ I could hear the voice whispered into my ear. I should have jumped or reacted in some way but it was so cold. I wanted this dream to end. A warm breath danced across my skin and sent shivers across my body. What ever it was, it was right behind me. Then I felt saw scaly and satanic claws reach around my chest and then loosely grip my neck. Another wrapped around my waist as the creature held onto me. I was too frightened to move. _

_This time it spoke quietly and clearly into my ear its deathly breath swirling around my face, __**"They have left you. Why would they care about a beast like you?"**__ it asked me. It pulled my body closer to itself and I could feel it place its face on mine. It brought up a single claw to the bottom of my eye, it traced my cheek, lips, jaw, then down my neck and ended on my collarbone. The other claw moved from my waist to my hip with the claws resting on my thigh. I let out an involuntary gasp for air. I didn't know I had been holding my breath._

_It breathed on my cheek, it smelled foul and ghastly, and I could feel its claws tracing up and down my skin, through my clothes. It rubbed its face against my cheek and then it spoke to me again, __**"A creature like you, so weak and helpless"**__ it paused and then I felt something cold piece the skin on my cheek, __**"should stay here with me. Those humans won't miss a demonic creature like you and,"**__ it stopped and that was when I could feel something wet run down my cheek. I was bleeding but I still didn't move. The creature had me it its claws, what could I do? Now its claws moved to circle around my waist, I could feel something snake around my ankles and leg, almost like tails._

_Then it opened its mouth again but this time it didn't speak. I felt a warm and slimy tongue lap up the blood that was pouring from where it had cut me. It seems that I had finally gotten over the shock and struggled against its grip. It didn't fight to contain me and I turned to face it. The only thing I saw was the eye of the monster._

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><p><em><em>**AN:** Not to long of a wait. I was excited to get this next chapter up for you guys quickly. Next chapter hopefully in the next few days.

So this slightly follows cannon but I am slightly veering away from cannon. Naruto knows he has the demon inside of him but he has never seen it. Also it seems that something in his past made him change. I wonder what that could have been? Something from the Academy maybe?

Just a reminder that I do have a poll on my author profile page. I would love it if you voted for the next story idea. So far I have one vote. If it stays at one vote I might think about rewriting 'The Night Everything Changed' as I really enjoyed that idea.

**R&R**


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